Have you ever looked at your bank account and thought, Why do I keep doing this?
Maybe you overspent (again), avoided checking your credit card balance (hello late fees), or said yes to something you couldn’t really afford.
If so, you’re not alone—this isn’t just a “money problem.” It’s a nervous system response.
When we’ve experienced stress or trauma (especially around security and worthiness), our bodies respond in one of four default ways: Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn.
And guess what? These show up big time in how we handle money:
- Fight → Hustling, overworking, or trying to obsessively “control” money; defensiveness if anyone asks about/challenges your financial decisions
- Flight → Avoiding bills, ignoring your finances, hoping it all just works out.
- Freeze → Feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or paralyzed when making financial decisions.
- Fawn → Giving money away, over-tipping, or saying yes to things you can’t afford to keep the peace.
Recognizing these patterns is important, and a key step to breaking unwanted cycles.
Sometimes, it’s not that you’re just bad with money or undisciplined.
Your nervous system is simply trying to keep you safe the way it knows how.
So, what do you do?
Start by noticing your patterns without judgment.
Take a deep breath.
Remind yourself: I can learn a new way. I am safe. I am capable. Healing your money story is possible—and it starts with awareness.
Remember, in light of your story and all you’ve experienced, you make sense.
Finally, your past does not have to equal your future.
If healing your money story is important to you in this season of life, I’d love to chat. I offer FREE 30 minute discovery calls (no pressure, no ‘hard sell’) where we can talk about what’s going on and how I might be able to help.
To your wealth,
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