Have you ever felt a nagging sense of anxiety, but couldn’t put your finger on the cause?
This was me a few months ago. Something felt ‘off’ and was making me anxious, but I couldn’t pinpoint what it was.
After a few days of this, I finally got fed up, decided to take some time to check in with myself, and find out what was really going on.
I literally asked myself, “Melissa, why are you anxious? What’s going on?” (Simple strategy, I know, but wonderfully effective. Try it sometime. ?)
The answer that came to me was surprising, but insightful. I heard something along the lines of this, “You’re avoiding making some decisions that you already know the answer to, and you’re feeling anxious because you’re stuck in a no man’s land of indecision.”
Well, that was not what I expected to hear; however, it was absolutely true. I’d been avoiding these decisions and staying in a place of limbo and self doubt. I was choosing to ‘not decide’ because I was afraid of choosing.
Unfortunately, my lack of decision was not only stressful, it was preventing any forward progress, and was using up emotional and mental bandwidth that I could’ve been deploying on other, more productive mental processes.
As soon as I recognized how much negative emotion I was causing myself, I was able to shake off some of the excuses I’d been making about why I couldn’t decide and make the decisions.
These days, when I’m stuck in anxiety for any length of time, I like to do a quick heart check in and see if it could be linked to indecision. Am I avoiding a decision? Why? If this is the case, acknowledging I’m avoiding something is helpful (at least I’m being honest about what’s going and choosing to step out of denial.)
Sometimes this is enough to jump start my confidence and get me moving forward. Other times, I end up digging in a little more as to why I’m so scared to choose.
I’m sharing this today because I know so many people who struggle with feeling anxious. While there are multiple reasons for anxiety (not just this one), I found discovering my own hesitation around certain decisions to be really helpful.
If this scenario rings true for you, I want to encourage you today.
Say this to yourself:
“(First name), in case you’ve forgotten, I want you to know that your heart is good, that you know how to make good decisions, and that you are trustworthy. You are capable and you can do this.”
Then, as much as you’re able to, take a step towards action. It doesn’t have to be big. But do something, however little, to move towards choice and away from ‘stuck.’
You’re more powerful than you think.
You deserve to have a life that is full of joy, peace, and a prevailing sense of wellbeing.
The next time you’re feeling anxious, do me a favor, okay?
Check in with yourself. Could there be some hesitancy around a decision that you know you need to make? What’s one small step you can take towards deciding?
Once you identify it, drop me a line. I love hearing from you.
Cheering you on, today and always, ?